I was bruised, bloody, hot, and tired, and one last workout still towered in front of me. Fifteen minutes. That’s all I had to figure out how to pull off the impossible: a muscle-up. I was in 7th place going into the last workout at the 2010 Regionals in Dallas. I had already surprised myself by doing quite well against some of the “big wigs” in the region. However, all of that was about to be thrown out the window.
I stood in the warm-up room and watched girl after girl grab onto the rings, string 3 “warm-up” muscle-ups together, and walk away like it didn’t even phase them that we had to do 15 of those stinking things in the workout. I wanted to cry. I felt so alone in that very moment in my abilities as a CrossFitter. What was I even doing in the same room with these girls? I have never wanted to quit anything in my life. But, in that moment, I wanted to tap out, wave my little white flag, and scream, “I give up!” But I couldn’t.
I remembered what Wes said to me earlier that day, “You are just as good as these girls.” My Mom and Dad, who had never seen me compete in a CrossFit competition nor understood the entirety of what was going on, were waiting in anticipation with the rest of the crowd. I couldn’t give up. I had to at least try; for my parents, for my coach, and mostly, for me.
Needless to say, I didn’t get my first muscle-up in those fifteen minutes. But I tried. I spent the entire fifteen minutes trying. I watched almost every girl finish at least 5 muscle ups and move on to the next movement. I must have attempted 40 muscle-ups and failed every one of them. When my fifteen minutes ran out, all I could do was hang my head while the rings dangled above me. The crowd moved out and there I stood. Under those rings, I was frozen with defeat. My dad eventually grabbed me and gave me a big bear hug. I cried like a baby and so did he.
Despite what Wes had said, I didn’t believe I belonged there.
Fast forward to the 2011 Games season. For the first time as a CrossFit competitor, I had chosen to compete in the Team Division at Regionals. With the workouts released six weeks before the competition, we spent hours in the gym to prep. As I’m sure you can guess the last workout had muscles-ups in it. Despite how much stronger and faster I was becoming, I still couldn’t stick a muscle-up. I was frustrated and that sense of defeat I experienced the year prior was creeping back in. To make matters worse, I was who the team had chosen to perform that workout. Seriously! Again! And now, not only did I feel pressure to do them for myself, I had a team that was relying on me.
Finally, a week before Regionals, I landed my first muscle-up (and then proceeded to run around screaming like a mad woman)! Then, at Regionals, not only did I stick a muscle-up; I was able to get three! Instead of celebrating those three muscle-ups, I felt as defeated as I did in the 2010 Regionals. Surrounded by other teams who had girls who could fly through the muscle ups, I didn’t believe I belonged there either.
I have always thought it was the muscle-up that was holding me back from my full potential as a CrossFit athlete. But what I have come to realize this year is that it was never really the muscle-ups. It’s been more about me growing and maturing into a CrossFit athlete. It has been about patience and time. In my three years as a CrossFitter, I have struggled to get stronger where I am weak, overcome injuries, missed lifts, and finished last. The biggest thing standing in my way this whole time has not been the stupid muscle-ups, it’s been believing I could do the muscle-ups. Believing! That’s it. That’s what was missing.
The blood, sweat, and tears have paid off. I am now training with an all-star squad that has pushed me more than they will ever know. Their belief in my capabilities has helped me believe in myself and abilities. As I battle through this year’s Regionals competition with the #paintitpink team, I will not forget how far I have come as a CrossFitter. I have nothing but belief in me and my teammates! And when I walk into that warm-up room this year, I will not doubt my abilities or question whether I belong there.
Level Two 10:00 AMRAP
20 Speed Skaters
10 Kip Pull ups
10 DB Thrusters (40lb, 25lb)
then… 5:00 Rest
then…
1k Row (Max effort)
Level One (Day 6) Skill Front Squats
Deadlifts
WOD A. Lift off+DL x3+2×3 Rest :90 B. Front Squat x4x3 @ 32X3 Rest :45 C1. Unweighted Step-ups x6/leg x2 Rest :45 C2. Chin-ups x6-12×2 Rest :45 Having Bad Days in the Gym? Break the Cycle! *Post thoughts to comments
What distinguishes the majority of men from the few is their ability to act accordingly to their beliefs.”– Henry Miller
Announcements:
We will have a modified class schedule this week. For more details, click here.
Got an exciting new PR you want on the leader board? Be sure to fill out a PR slip and give it to Caitlyn to chalk it up!
Finishing the 4th workout at the 2011 CrossFit Games Regional crushed me. Emotionally and physically I was drained. I had poured over 3 years of training into one brutally hot weekend, only to come 1 rep shy of making it to day 3 (top 14). I lay on the ground devastated and filled with emotion as the crowds departed. The road to last year’s regional was tough: I tore my left meniscus at an Olympic lifting competition in October, had surgery in November, and began my march to recovery in December. The process was a roller coaster of emotion that was only remedied by my Mom’s infinite wisdom. “Be glad you still have two functioning legs,” she said “it could be a lot worse.”
As that is now over a year ago, I vaguely remember the struggle of making it back. Sadly though, I can vividly remember that day of defeat, and can still feel the tears of sadness, sweat, and struggle dripping down my face. After finally recovering from that Regionals weekend (average 110-degree heat, black bars, black kettlebells, hand searing), I was ready to get back into training. I knew where I stood in the region, what my weaknesses were, and how I could make it to the top.
The summer ended and my training was ramping up. I was becoming stronger, more flexible, and felt incredible. Then it happened, on a routine warmup squat, my uninjured knee clicked and popped. The heat intensified and I was laying there again, motionless, crushed and defeated. I knew what it was, but I decided to walk it off and call it a day. I talked to my sister, Becky, as I drove off and she asked me “do you think it’s ok?” As the inside of me welled up with emotion, I jokingly told her that I would always be ok, and that a little knee swelling would not stop my march to the Games.
With the help of the fine folks at Airrosti, I started getting some good motion into my knee. Progress was being made, and I had begun a rehab program hoping that the pain was not another meniscus tear. Squats became possible, hip bridges and thrusts kept my butt firing, and I was intent on making it back. Then my doctor gave me some bad news, and SOME of my hope was quickly taken. He told me I would need an MRI as he believed I had torn my meniscus. All the drive and hope I had left was pulled out from beneath me as I lay there again, on an operating table, to end what I believed to be my last chance at making it to the Reebok CrossFit Games. Every pull-up, push-up, squat and row meant nothing because my knee was going to need meniscus removal rehab again. I had given up and I told my lovely girlfriend and family that the 2012 year would be a “bench” year for me. I was going to sit it out. I won’t sit here and say it was easy. I spent much time alone crying, all while outwardly expressing hope and joy. I felt sorry for myself, and I didn’t understand why God had chosen to injure me twice in the same year. Why did each knee have to have a torn meniscus, why did I have to work so hard to climb out of another hole. I still don’t know why, but I no longer question.
My Games season as an individual was over September 13, 2011. Fast forward to today and you’ll see that my Games season as a teammate began on September 13, 2011. This year isn’t about me, it’s not a comeback. I don’t want to talk about the hours I’ve spent in the gym since my surgery, scared to get into a squat for fear that I may reinjure myself. I don’t want to talk about how difficult it has been seeing my friends continue to excel. I don’t want to be asked if my knee is 100%. I don’t want to talk about these things for they do not matter. I want to talk about my team and their excellence. I’ve come to believe that God placed me where I am, forced me to struggle back from surgery, so I could glorify His name. I’m able to take my 3 years of competitive experience and help others around me. I’m no longer training on an island where any small breeze can send me tumbling. I’m now sitting on new foundation with 7 other teammates; great people who will pick each other up if we falter.
I can still remember my devastation from last year’s Regional competition. I can still feel the heat being cooled by tears of sadness dripping down my face. There is still a cage of emotion when I look at that photo that captured everything. That chapter is over though, and now I will march towards the 2012 Reebok CrossFit Games Regional with team #paintitpink. I will lift them up and perform to the best of my ability. Don’t ask about my knees because they are fine; my smile tells you they are fine. This isn’t a comeback – it’s a new beginning, and it won’t end with devastation.
CFA is excited to announce the addition of two new interns to our ranks…!
Starting in May, Erica Cuellar and Eric Reis will be the newest members of our internship program! Congratulations, Eric and Erica! We’re so happy to have y’all on board!
5 Rounds
5 Single Arm DB Snatches (35lb, 25lb)
10 Ab Mat Sit ups
15 DB Goblet Squats (55lb, 35lb)
200m
Level One (Day 5) Skill
Ring Dip progressions
Wall Balls
WOD 3 Rounds
2:00 on/ 1:00 off
10 Wall Balls
Front Plank
*With partners alternate one person wall balls while the other does a front plank
*Record Total Wall Balls